Reportage : Three man in love Medellín, Colombia - 2018

Emotions are one thing, coping with everyday life is another. Both were important for Alejo, Manuel and Víctor when they got engaged in the first threesome marriage in Colombia.

Alejo cooked today and arranged the Rice, beans and salad on the kitchenette in the eat-in kitchen. Manuel and Víctor kiss to greet him, plate themselves up and sit at the table with their lunch. Manuel still takes a Arepa, Alejo and Víctor juice. They talk about Alejo’s and Víctor's theatre project. How they can motivate the parents from the neighborhood to take their children to take part. Manuel, the oldest, gives advice. They laugh, discuss, plan. When they have eaten up, one after the other goes to the sink and washes his plate and fork. One meal a day is sacred to them. They enjoy the time together, they support each other in their projects. But under no circumstances would they push each other into roles. Not even in the dishwasher's for everyone.

They share their house, table and bed: Manuel Bermudez, Alejandro Rodriguez and Víctor Hugo Prada have been a “couple” for years. In 2017 the three have been legally bound to each other. It was one of the first triple marriages worldwide.

How does the three of them live and love each other? How is everyday life like and how to live the mutual desire? How do they cope with jealousy? Is polyamory the solution to infidelity and separation? We accompanied the three of them and they shared their lives for a week.

Background: Some years ago there were four intimate partners who wanted to get married, together with Alex Esnéider Zabala, but Alex died of stomach cancer four years ago. Manuel and Alejandro were the first gays to marry in Colombia (even several times - whenever the law got extended), were pioneers in many ways. Their example tells a lot about the gay movement in a homophobic Catholic country - and the contradictory reactions.

A collaboration project with Katharina Wojczenko.

Three colorful fishes live with Alejandro Rodríguez, Victor Hugo Prada and Manuel Bermúdez in their living room. The three men have shared life and family since 2014.
Three colorful fishes live with Alejandro Rodríguez, Victor Hugo Prada and Manuel Bermúdez in their living room. The three men have shared life and family since 2014.
Alejandro Rodríguez, Victor Hugo Prada and Manuel Bermúdez (from left) share bed and life - they got married in 2017.
Alejandro Rodríguez, Victor Hugo Prada and Manuel Bermúdez (from left) share bed and life - they got married in 2017.
Alejandro used to teach dance and aerobics. Meanwhile he works as a freelance dancer. Aerobics is pure relaxation for him.
Alejandro used to teach dance and aerobics. Meanwhile he works as a freelance dancer. Aerobics is pure relaxation for him.
Neighbor Ampario Osorio Rubiano is very Christian and has health problems. Victor and Manuel come by almost every day to play " Parqués" with her. Osorio likes all three men. During the game she ignores Manuel's curses and frivolous allusions and is happy about the company.
Neighbor Ampario Osorio Rubiano is very Christian and has health problems. Victor and Manuel come by almost every day to play " Parqués" with her. Osorio likes all three men. During the game she ignores Manuel's curses and frivolous allusions and is happy about the company.
Victor and Manuel walk around the neighborhood every night talking about everything and anything. Victor appreciates Manuel's advice.
Victor and Manuel walk around the neighborhood every night talking about everything and anything. Victor appreciates Manuel's advice.
“Just ask for Manuel and his husbands”: Everyone in the neighborhood knows the three. Here they sit on the balcony of the bedroom and listen to Alejo playing the guitar.
“Just ask for Manuel and his husbands”: Everyone in the neighborhood knows the three. Here they sit on the balcony of the bedroom and listen to Alejo playing the guitar.
The three of them are horrified by the fixed distribution of roles. In everyday life it results from routine: Manuel hates cooking so much, Alejo loves it. Everybody comes and goes as he likes and just rinses his own dishes.
The three of them are horrified by the fixed distribution of roles. In everyday life it results from routine: Manuel hates cooking so much, Alejo loves it. Everybody comes and goes as he likes and just rinses his own dishes.
Alejo prefers to work in bed. Manuel is a freelance journalist and university lecturer, Victor and Alejandro organize theatre and dance projects with children, teenagers and adults from the neighborhood.
Alejo prefers to work in bed. Manuel is a freelance journalist and university lecturer, Victor and Alejandro organize theatre and dance projects with children, teenagers and adults from the neighborhood.
For each one two kisses to greet: jealousy no longer exists in their relationship, the three say. But the beginning was difficult. Alejandro in particular suffered greatly from fears of loss. All three are allowed to have sex outside their family and bring other men home with them. As long as they don't forget their family.
For each one two kisses to greet: jealousy no longer exists in their relationship, the three say. But the beginning was difficult. Alejandro in particular suffered greatly from fears of loss. All three are allowed to have sex outside their family and bring other men home with them. As long as they don't forget their family.
For the cohesion Manuel is particularly important to have a meal together - no matter how stressful the day is.
For the cohesion Manuel is particularly important to have a meal together - no matter how stressful the day is.
Dancing is everything for Victor. He is part of a Colombian folklore group rehearsing traditional dances from the highlands.
Dancing is everything for Victor. He is part of a Colombian folklore group rehearsing traditional dances from the highlands.
Victor sings along: He is by far the youngest in the band and brings life into the house. "I demand attention," he says. At the same time, he needs a lot of affection.
Victor sings along: He is by far the youngest in the band and brings life into the house. "I demand attention," he says. At the same time, he needs a lot of affection.
While Alejandro and Victor like to cook, Manuel is the craftsman in the house. Together with Alejandro he renovates the guest bathroom on the ground floor. Victor and Alejandro want to open a small theatre for the neighbors there in the near future.
While Alejandro and Victor like to cook, Manuel is the craftsman in the house. Together with Alejandro he renovates the guest bathroom on the ground floor. Victor and Alejandro want to open a small theatre for the neighbors there in the near future.
The plants always remind Manuel of Alex Esneider, the fourth lover in their relationship. Alex had loved and nursed the plants. He died of cancer four years ago.
The plants always remind Manuel of Alex Esneider, the fourth lover in their relationship. Alex had loved and nursed the plants. He died of cancer four years ago.
On the way home: Manuel picks Alejandro up from aerobics training.
On the way home: Manuel picks Alejandro up from aerobics training.
Walk-in closet, walk-in house: There's exactly one door for the three of them - in the guest bathroom.
Walk-in closet, walk-in house: There's exactly one door for the three of them - in the guest bathroom.
At the end of the day everyone meets in the double bed. Victor always sleeps in the middle.
At the end of the day everyone meets in the double bed. Victor always sleeps in the middle.

This is the end, my friend ...

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